Eight Weekends of Excuses To Golf
You and your wife have been working all week. And finally, the weekend, time to relax and kick back. But your version of that is playing 36 holes in two days. Not her ideal way of relaxing.
So if you’re wife/girlfriend doesn’t golf, how are you going to get away with going? Don’t worry, I got you.
“I’ll be home right after”: She hates it when your 8:30 AM tee time turns into a round plus a three-course meal accompanied by multiple beverages after the round. You roll into the driveway around 4 PM. So instead of pissing her off even more, admit you’re whipped, and head home right after your round. It will make a huge difference.
“I’ll cook tonight”: This is if you can cook. If you can’t cook, scratch this idea. But if you can hack together and edible meal, offer this up. It is a nice little gesture and maybe she wont catch the hint you’re trying to get brownie points for golfing today. And if you’re a better cook than her, use this tactic every weekend.
“The kids can come with me”: This one’s tough. You want to golf, but you also want to spend time with the kids. So do both. Bring them along. Yeah it might not be the most competitive 18 holes of golf. There may not even be much golf, but you get to spend time with your kids and gives your significant other a day to herself.
“Come with me”: If you’re lucky enough to be with a woman who golfs, this is the easy way out every weekend. But if she doesn’t golf, offer her to come, drive the cart and attempt to hit balls. I’ll bet she has a blast. Golf is one of those games where the average American thinks, “It can’t be that hard”, but it is a quite humbling sport.
“I won’t go next weekend”: Charity tournament Saturday and then a tee time at a private club Sunday morning. Those are a couple can’t miss things. But your wife isn’t happy about all that golf. Well, suck it up and offer to be all hers next weekend. Who knows maybe she’ll let you out Sunday afternoon for a quick nine.
“The season is almost over, you’ll have me all winter”: Obviously this isn’t going to work in August, but if it is mid-September this one is perfect. Remind her all the free time you’ll have once the winter sets in.
“I’ll mow the lawn when I get back”: This is, if you’re back before sundown. This one is tough if you’re into hanging out after your round. You’re already going to get yelled at for coming home late. So you better install a headlight on that lawn mower or your golf clubs will be at the curb tomorrow morning with a for sale sign on them.
“I’m going with your dad”: Golfing with her dad is a win-win. She can’t yell at your or her dad will back you, plus you look like a good guy hanging out with your in-laws. Just hope he isn’t better than you, you will never hear the end of it at Christmas dinner next year.
That’s eight weekends of excuses. Thank me later.